rhythms

Lesson from Bees: Take care. Slow down.

This year we started bee keeping. Kelly (my spouse) is the real bee keeper and initiator of this.

I was working in the hive, doing a routine inspection and moving some frames around.

I was going too quick. The bees could tell before I could. They got a little restless because of it.

I was able to notice this and realized I needed to finish up and close up to give them some peace from my interruption to their day.

Often my norm is quick, momentum focused, efficiency driven.

The bees are teaching me to take care and slow down.

Some of the best times and most valuable experiences I’ve had are because there has been care and slowness to it.

If there truly is enough for me, why do I rush?

I’m going to be working to take more care and slow down in my days.

Start Stop Continue

A great mechanism to make an action plan to make a behavior change. At the end of a reflection process, coaching session, meeting, you can write down what you will start doing, what you will stop doing, and what you will continue doing.

For example, I read a recent article on making diversity more than a business case and here are my Start Stop Continue in follow up:

Start: Clarifying and sharing my own personal motivation to work on equality initiatives.

Stop: Accepting the business case for diversity as enough motivation to make change occur.

Continue: Encouraging people in coaching and other situations to create person vision statements and emphasize the importance of this.

It works because it’s easy to remember and gets to the heart of change, behavior and rhythms.

Don’t forget: More like jazz. Less like classical.

Lazy is not Sloth

Excerpt from Fredrick Buechner’s Listening to Your Life

Buechner is describing sloth as what I understand as incessant flow.

When we are focused but not aware. This is valuable in some instances (doing the dishes, tedious but necessary work…) but if it becomes a norm, it can derail and lower meaning in life.

The alternative is mindful. Focuses and aware. A mindful person can be seen as lazy sometimes because they take a walk after a complicated phone call. They spend extra time meditating each morning. They don’t rush out of a conversation.

Idea from Mind of the Leader book

Mindfulness practices has helped me tremendously to not have sloth but occasionally look lazy while bringing my best to those around me.

Coaching Round Table: What I Need to Grow

I see a new blog post that intrigues me.
I read a book where I’m feverishly underlining.
I listen to a podcast and I find myself continually going back 15 seconds to write down what someone said.

All this is not enough for me.

In order to truly grow, we must deeply consider and apply ideas and concepts.

This is best done among others.
Hearing and seeing what others are learning.
Getting energized by the way someone else is applying a jointly learned concept.
Being challenged to stretch thinking and imagine beyond your status quo.

Starting mid November 2020, I’ll be hosting a Coaching Round Table.
A space to share what you’re learning, hear what others are learning, and go together to be better.

We will focus on topics around coaching and leadership. However we will break down the walls of considering how this applies to a day job.

“Who we are is how we lead.”

Brene Brown on the Dare to Lead Podcast

If you’re interested to join, complete the form or email me.

We will all be better if you are there. Hope to see you around the table!

Interested? Click Here

Grow Empathy: Listen Beyond the Sound You Make 

Go take a walk
  It is easy to hear your own footsteps,
  the rustling of the leaves you kick,
  the crack of a branch you break. 
Listen also to all that is beyond yourself. 
  The breeze shaking the leaves,
  a creak of an old tree,
  the quip-quip-quip of an unfamiliar bird. 
Be led beyond yourself. 
  Sense and feel that which is other,
  consider from where it comes,
  acknowledge, honor, and respect it.

What is work-life balance?

Answering for yourself is most important. Here’s where my heads been:

Personal life having proper priority. Work not chipping away at personal life priorities

Predictability in work needs. Be specific here. For example: schedule for a day is set 3 days ahead. Knowing rough schedule 1 week in advance

Time within work week to handle urgent needs inside work time

Time in work week to complete all important needs

Time in work week to process and think and ultimately close out mental each day. Avoid carrying stress of work past work hours

Knowing ahead of time when non-traditional work time needed…after hours

Knowing ahead of time when busy week is coming

Flexibility to step away from work when urgent personal needs arise

Work day is energizing more often than it is not

Organization of work projects to keep straight and aware of with ease

Confidence and assurance my career is going the direction I want

Connected to the pulse of those near me…perceptions, attitudes, opinions…no guesswork in what those near me are thinking

Not being beholden to opinions of others. Having grit and autonomy to not act according to opinions unless in line with my goals.

Not being in a hazardously competitive environment or at least not defending on success in this environment

Aware of my current stressors and have control over some impactful aspects of them

Me and others having clarity of what I stand for

Close teammates and boss challenge me yet recognize autonomy and all value balance

Work values and duties aligning with personal values…no erosion of ethics and congruent work-life and personal life

Work makes me better outside of work

Pay of work allowing for comfortable financial life and financial goals to be attained

What would your list be? To have work-life balance we need to first define it for ourselves.

Work/Life Balance: Proactive not Defensive

We all aspire for healthy work/life balance.

Some of us may feel we have it good right now.

Some of us may feel we are drowning in work and need a way out.

Either way, we must be proactive, not defensive.

Defensive: fight back and push against. Say no more often. Negotiate better terms. All these are necessary at times but not optimal.

Proactive: build a leadership style that creates ownership of others. Set other people up for success and give them freedom to run. Build a personal brand that highlights your priority of family or personal life.

This is important. Erosion of work/life balance will lead to burnout and poor leadership. Build it in now. Be proactive where you can.

Curiosity Needs Time and Space

Continually learning and growing is key to staying engaged in work, succeeding professionally, being our best.

We cannot expect to fill our entire day with back to back meetings or project time and learn most effectively.

We need at least a little time and space. Not hours on end to read a book, but maybe. Not years in a career to complete a degree, but maybe.

I’m more so talking about 15 minutes after a meeting to reflect and grow. 5 minutes to let your head dream and drift. 30 minutes to journal or write each day.

I’m also not just talking about time. A workspace that allows for you to observe and see things clearly. Rhythms in your day that set you up for clarity. Relationships that challenge you beyond the what did you do but how did you feel, what does that mean for where you’re going.

For example, I’m trying to schedule each day with at least 30 minutes outside of lunch to sit in my comfy chair and read or think. I also start my day with 5 minutes of mediation. I end my work day with 15 minutes of journaling at a separate desk in my office designed for analog processing…think big paper, post it notes, colored sharpies, and scissors.

Of course we can learn even in the midst of back to back but I find I learn best with a little time and space. And I find I have to fight for that time and space…or at least proactively set it up.

Address the Emotional Root Cause

Stress we might feel. Frustration buried under the surface. Worry simmering around the corner.

These all hold us back from the freedom of good work and joy of a grateful life.

Of course stress, anger, and caution can motivate is to work effectively…

…but I’m talking about the stress keeping you in the office through dinner, the frustration that comes out on those you love, the worry causing you to check your work email when you can’t sleep at 1am.

Build a rhythm to address the emotional root cause. Addressing that will help separate from work or tasks through the day and lead to the life we really want.

I use mindfulness exercises, physical exercise, and journaling but you should find a rhythm that works for you. Only you can do it and I think we each must do it.