“Collaboration challenges our own preferred ways of working and thinking.”
“Two types of conflict: Content (beliefs, values, goals) and Relational (esteem, control, affiliation). Often these are tied together.” -Paraphrased
“In conflict people often want to be respected. Four ways through conflict: 1- Separate people from problem. 2 – Focus on interests not positions. 3 – Invent options from mutual gains. 4 – Sometimes it’s helpful to use objective expert criteria.”
I see a new blog post that intrigues me. I read a book where I’m feverishly underlining. I listen to a podcast and I find myself continually going back 15 seconds to write down what someone said.
All this is not enough for me.
In order to truly grow, we must deeply consider and apply ideas and concepts.
This is best done among others. Hearing and seeing what others are learning. Getting energized by the way someone else is applying a jointly learned concept. Being challenged to stretch thinking and imagine beyond your status quo.
Starting mid November 2020, I’ll be hosting a Coaching Round Table. A space to share what you’re learning, hear what others are learning, and go together to be better.
We will focus on topics around coaching and leadership. However we will break down the walls of considering how this applies to a day job.
“Who we are is how we lead.”
Brene Brown on the Dare to Lead Podcast
If you’re interested to join, complete the form or email me.
We will all be better if you are there. Hope to see you around the table!
When in person in a meeting or classroom it takes a few extra seconds of silence to erase the whiteboard. Everyone sits in anticipation and respect for the time to erase. Virtually, we don’t design meetings to have many pauses.
When someone doesn’t speak up its noticed because they have a physical space the physical space they take up doesn’t provide input. Virtually, we don’t have a physical space to associate people with so we can go by unnoticed in a meeting.
When someone is speaking and then takes a beat to think more, everyone waits for them because the presence they take up demands respect. Virtually any little pause is room for someone else to get their comment in.
A lot of this comes down to respect. In person, we know how to do respect. It’s built into our culture and experiences. Virtually, we need to build it in. Work a little harder to design for respect.
For example, when I’m transitioning a meeting to a new topic, I’m going to ask a general question to allow for people to stop and think. As I’m leading a meeting, I’m going to list out on a paper all the people in the meeting and keep an eye on it…maybe even I should make trading cards for those I interact with often, giving them a physical space. When I’m listening to someone and they take a beat, I’m going to assume they are thinking about more to say and wait.
Some of this idea was sparked by John Maeda’s Redesigning Leadership chapter on Technologist as Leader.
If you’re like me, the COVID-19 pandemic has taught you some lessons with experience.
I’ve had less and less interactions with people. I’ve noticed myself leaning into interactions with more enrollment and joy. Because it’s somewhat scarce.
This new normal is teaching me to find value in each interaction I have. I am now thinking how much value did I miss in interactions when I had even more each day. Going forward I’ll be leaning into each interaction.
Most of our interactions are best as two way streets.
This does not mean both sides need equal amounts of traffic.
Simply recognizing and remembering that all interactions can be two way streets is a good start. If you acknowledge this, you will look for the traffic coming the other direction.
You may notice the body language or subtle comment someone makes or set up a moment for questions or comments to be added.
The more we build our connections to be two way streets, the better we will be.
Since August 2019, I’ve been working remotely from my home office. At first I was scared! I would have described myself as an ultimate extrovert. Some of the best memories are in groups or with other people…seldom have I fondly looked at memories of solitude.
Until now…
I HAVE LOVED WORKING IN SOLITUDE!
It’s been 11 months of my day job being mostly alone and I feel confident, comfortable, and fulfilled. This didn’t happen immediately as I often used my local library or favorite coffee shop as a coping mechanism when I felt alone at the start.
Then COVID-19 hit and everyone was working from home and those coping mechanisms were taken away.
I galvanized, doubled down, dug into working in solitude. I built a sorts of bliss station in my office and developed a routine and rhythm for my day.
It also helped knowing the rest of the world was experiencing something similar. I saw many others pontificate their work from home status and how they missed their office mates. I didn’t relate to that much. And that surprised me. I thought I was the ultimate extrovert.
I still am an extrovert but the others I get my energy from are virtual, in books, and in my own head. I also have times where I see friends and family, which energizes me even to the tips of my toes.
Even though I love my rhythm and routine of working in physical solitude and often total solitude for several hours a day, I am realizing I cannot stay so insular. Maybe occasionally have another body in the room…other than my pups who do a great job at reminding me to take a second to bark at notice something outside the window, throw a ball down the hallway, snuggle for a hot second, or take a breath of fresh air.
Having a human body in the room doesn’t mean we are working on the same thing but parallel working. Maybe its a friend to sit with and just chat occasionally or bounce an idea off or see them in the zone spurring me to stay in the zone or see them take a break encouraging me to take a break.
The point here is to find a rhythm but know life is all about transitions. Jive in the beat but be on the lookout for a new melody.
phil invites 