Even though…

We want to know the next right step. The box to check off. The category to put someone.

All so they can fit our process…really so they can fit into our current world view or perspective.

This is the case with people interactions on many levels. When coaching someone. When leading someone. When trying to sell to someone. When debating with someone.

And yet we are only pushing people more and more apart.

We think “if only they would see it as I do…”or “if only they would appreciate this concept…”or “if only they would prioritize the right thing…”

Instead of saying “if only…” we should take the approach of “even though…”

There is a way through it just may not look like you expect. The person may not fit your typical coaching framework. They may not need what other people you’ve led have needed. They may not value the same things you do.

We need to go where they are and see it as “even though…”

Even though they see it differently we find a way to serve. Even though they value something else we can help get a good outcome.

It becomes less about us and more about purely serving the other. The route may not be clear but that’s the fun in it! There will be a surprise around the corner and that challenge alone can spur us onward.

What stories are you telling yourself that benefit from an “even though” mindset shift?

Motivated by the Surprise

When we face a truly unique or difficult challenge, we are unsure of the outcome.

Some challenges, we can be certain how they will end and in those situations are they really challenges?

I’m looking for more challenges in which, I’m uncertain of the ending. I’m uncertain of the solution. I don’t know the right answer.

This propels a new motivation inside of me. One of anticipating and seeking out the surprise.

As I work towards solving a problem with very unknown outcome or path, the surprise is exciting and engaging. At the end of a working session, I will see something anew. See the world a different way. Realize a truth about myself I did not know. Distill a solution which feels original to me.

To me, these are the challenges worth investing in. Not to overcome fully but to seek the surprise and grow from it.

I heard of this idea on a podcast featuring Austin Kleon where he describes his favorite part of the creative process being the surprise during that creativity.

Reflect, Stretch, Enact

Uncomfortable situations are promoters of growth. In these moments, we are able to reflect, stretch, and enact. If we do not allow for these three segments to engage in times of challenge, we lose the opportunity. 

Reflect-Allows the moment to bring realization that otherwise is missing

Stretch-Leans us into trying something new and tasting the goodness of that environment. 

Enact-Take the moment beyond just that. Makes the experience something that can be embraced and embodied again and again.