authentic

Service Focused Communication For All

When we say things we often want to be authentic. Vulnerable. Real. True.

This is noble and ideal. We should show up and offer ourselves as we are.

It is also only half the equation of an interaction. It doesn’t necessarily look at the other parties in the conversation. How they receive the communication, what they hear, what they need.

We should shoot for authentic and valuable.

When something is authentic but not valuable to the other person we are just adding unnecessary noise to their life. Maybe we should consider not saying that authentic non-valuable thing.

When something is valuable but not authentic, we tip the scale towards unethical or manipulative. Sometimes we need to say something simply valuable to move the relationship onward but only if it’s for the best of both parties.

Being real, authentic, and adding value is the sweet spot.

This requires we consider the other. Think of the other person. Be service oriented. And that requires we take care of ourselves ahead of time.

Problem with Authenticity

Being authentic is all about me. You. Individual.

Sure we want to be real, true, but also we cannot live in a space all about us all the time.

We need to also show up as a professional.

Serving those around us.

Start with authenticity to find yourself but know we also must show up for other people.

At least that’s the life I’m looking to live. One of a professional. One of service. One of love.

Seth Godin talks about this idea a lot. His episode on Akimbo (Episode “Industry and it’s disconnects” at 24:22 time) talks about it at the end in Q/A segment which sparked my thinking on it.

Books That Make Us More Human

Above is an excerpt from Fredrick Buchner’s daily meditation book, Listen To Your Life.

Here’s a list of books I’ve read recently that have made me “more human.”

  • How to be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi
    • Powerful look at how racism lives inside our society and inside each of us
  • The World’s Fastest Man: The Extraordinary Life of Cyclist Major Taylor by Michael Kranish
    • Interesting look at the life of the first Black sports hero. There is a cycling velodrome 2 miles from my home named after him.
  • The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander
    • I see how our system of criminal justice and many other policies hold back people’s humanness.
  • Keep Going by Austin Kleon
  • How to Listen to Jazz by Ted Gioia
    • I’ve always enjoyed jazz music…most days it’s playing as I work. This book showed me the depth of the origins of the music and the intricacies inside each song. It’s more than background music and the musicians are becoming my friends in a way.
  • The a Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stainer (I didn’t read it recently but refer to it often)

What books would you add to this list? I’d love to hear!

Authenticity

This was a picture from my recent vacation in Cancun. My brother and his fiancé took a picture with Mayan impersonators and they chose this as their background (StarBucks) in the heart of a small city while waiting in line for a ride into Tulum. 

Tulum is a Mayan ruin from 5th Century AD. It seems so Authentic. But have we taken away the authenticity?

Is authenticity something that can be taken away? 

Has authenticity ever been there?

Integrity rather than authenticity

Integer-Latin-wholeness

Being able to be wholly oneself and fully true is a piece of integrity.

Not that you always stay the same and “consistent” but that you are wholly you.

This captures more of what I mean when I often use the word authentic.

Like on vacation, we are daring enough to wear the two piece, buy a new fedora, wear that interesting dress…we won’t see these people again, it’s vacation why not!? Why not bring that adventure home? Is that adventure our whole self or not? Maybe our whole self is more of the one that would rather wear a t shirt all week.

Let it be that. Just be a person of integrity.

Credit to my wife, Kelly, for most of these thoughts. She is brilliant!