Integrity of Self

Confidence, with Help

I question myself often.

I do so especially when I don’t hear any criticism or haven’t been able to think through an idea, situation, plan with someone else.

I question because I rely on someone else to tell me what’s wrong about it.

I should be more confident in solidarity but also could be much more successful if I have close friends who I can be sure would tell me if I’m wrong or going the wrong way.

If I know they are near and aware of what is going on, I have much more confidence.

It takes me hearing and them honestly telling. I need more direct and truthful people like that in my life.

My wife Kelly is much better at directions than I am. When she is in the passenger seat and paying attention, I confidently make decisions on where to go because I know if I’m about to change lanes when I’m not suppose to, she will call me on it.

Serious

This morning I took myself too seriously. Too personally. Too critical.

“Oh no!” would be the thoughts of my team and family if they heard the thoughts in my head. It’s not only damaging to my own mindset and soul condition but also damaging to the relationship with those around me.

When I take myself too seriously, it spirals into more and more seriousness. More hardness. More taking things personally. Less connection. Less joy. Less fruit.

I’m reminded of the importance of hardness and effort but even more the need for lightness. For whimsy. For pure-hearted passion. Childlike attitude.

I’m going to take it easy through the end of this year. Look to smile and laugh more. Seek whimsy and adventure in small and big ways.

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Thank you, Kelly for teaching me this 🙂

Prioritize

Most often, we will have the resources to say yes or step in.

When we do, we must do so with confidence and I’ve found this confidence of saying yes or stepping in comes from knowing priorities. Of myself, my family, and those around me.

I can chose to start something with my team if I know they all prioritize the main objective of the thing to start.

I can give my time and resources to a cause if it lines up with my and my family’s priorities.

Having priorities in mind, gives way to a more holistic self view and in turn lets us interact with our environment in a more full way.

Stepping in Full

I’m stepping into a new role at work and it’s a little scary. The role will challenge me and stretch me to new areas. People also saying things like, “Oh did they rope you into that?” because of the reputation of the group.

I’m not going to let that scare me away. I’m stepping in full. I’m all in.

I want to take advice from others but I chose this and there’s not much reason to look back. I want to look ahead with confidence and excitement. In my life this confidence, excitement, passion, drive has only helped in the long term. I’m going to trust that rather than the ideas other have.

Simple Joys are Holy

Excerpt from Celtic Daily Prayer Morning Prayer Devotion:

Simple joys are holy

If you want your dream to be
Take your time, go slowly
Do few things but do them well
Heartfelt work grows purely
If you want to live life free
Take your, time go slowly
Do few things but do them well
Heartfelt work grows purely

Day by day, stone by stone
Build your secret slowly
Day by day, you’ll grow too
You’ll know heaven’s glory

If you want to live life free
Take your time go slowly
If you want your dream to be
Take your time, go slowly

‘Little Church’ (Donovan Leitch)

Freeing Integrity pt. 2

When I act with more integrity (wholly oneself, fully true…) I am free from needing others appreciation.

I know what is my strength and where I can have impact. I do not need others to affirm that as often. And when I do need affirmation, I only look for it with those whom I would consider integral people in my life.

When I write a blog post I’m proud of, I don’t need to send it to my friends and say look what I did to be reminded it is good. I know it is because it’s coming from a wholly true place in me.

Freeing Integrity pt. 1

As I gain freedom to act with more integrity (wholly oneself, fully true, …) I am finding more joy and fulfillment.

I feel less obligated to act in areas I know are not my arena. At the same time I feel more obligated in areas that are my forte. I feel as though I’m accomplishing more. Not necessarily more off my checklist but the things I am checking off or working towards are being done better. Much better.

I’m loving my wife more fully when I realize I don’t need to spend the extra 10 minutes checking social media at night. I’m able to ensure my team at work has what they need when I realize the urgent request from another group is not the important matter I need to focus on. I’m giving more of my time and resources to people and organizations I care most about and able to toss out mailing requests and say no to those who are not in my arena of influence.

This is so freeing.

If only–Even If

I heard a friend share this idea of taking the things we communicate as “If Only..” Statements and switching them for a more helpful and holistic attitude.

If only I could do all of what I love at work, then I’d have meaning

If only I could get them to want me then, I’d be on the right path.

If only I could catch a break, then I could get going.

Instead I’m going to think of it this way…

Even if most my job isn’t directly connected to passions, I’ll find meaning in the midst.

Even if they don’t want me, I’ll find the right path.

Even if I don’t catch a break, things will keep going.

This transition has to come from a realization of the magnitude of life and trust there is goodness to be seen and tasted. For me that is the overflow of my faith in a God who does everything to bring us into His Kingdom and bring His Kingdom to us. Even giving up Himself to make it all right.

I feel freed when I transition to “Even If.” “If Only” bounds me tighter and tighter. Keeping me from releasing all that is possible.

Thanks to Coleman McIntyre for sharing this powerful message!