I hope to create spaces where people are true.

When claiming this I switched between the phrasing “can be true” and “are true.”

Can be true allows the other to interface with the space how they choose and gives them full responsibility of if they will or will not be true. This is sacred in the sense that it gives someone freedom and choice. However it removes me from being responsible for doing anything more than “setting the table.”

I hope to do more than simple set the table. I hope to set the table, encourage conversation, ask probing questions, empower others to speak up and be.

That’s why I settle on “are true.” It gives me more agency to lead others to a place of being true. Rather than letting myself off the hook for a partial attempt, I now am the party responsible for doing all I can to make it so.

Of course I’m likely swinging too far in this by thinking I can make the change fully on my own. I must rely on the other to also join but I hope to not swing too far the other way of letting myself off the hook.

This concept is foreign to me right away. My friend Phil Moreland told me about it. It’s actually articulately beautiful!

It captures integrity of influence. It is at the heart of empathy, understanding, going where people are, earning the right to be heard. 

It is the core of holistic influence. We must have a humble attitude to listen in order to lead. 

We must show up time and time again regardless of the others response. We must be an open ear to whatever is near. 

My friend Phil finds deep purpose in being that ear to those who don’t want to speak and I’ve seen him show up time in and time out to ear respect. Eventually it doesn’t matter if there is a mouth which is open or closed, there is trust, care, love, respect.

In the end, we don’t need response, we just need presence. 

Our words and actions have incredible weight to them. They can influence others with power.

We can move people to action. We can hurt people to depression.

If we only focus on ourselves, our strengths, our abilities, we miss out on the heart of integrity…wholeness.

We are nothing on our own. Without others, we have no impact.

We must consider our influence. Not only the influence to move others but also our influence or impact which could be harmful.

The area which I am not strong, I must be aware and act carefully if it must be exposed.

That weakness could cause hardship or frustration to another.

Instead of rush into an interaction, we should look for the route of integrity, wholeness.

This requires empathy. Putting ourselves in others shoes. Considering the other.

This is the hard work of influence but it is the most important.

We must not lax in it but be vigilant towards empathy. Even when we are tired, worn, at the end, we MUST consider the other. It is required that we bring empathy as a companion.

Integrity of influence (wholeness and holistic interaction with others) frequently requires a change of mind.

We must be willing to engage in debate and be persuaded by logic, data, experiences…

Everyone needs to start on the same page of not taking the debate personal which requires us to have an integrity of self (wholeness of oneself, confidence, awareness).

We may want to rush into a debate with someone but we must first consider if we are acting with integrity of self as well as perceiving if the other person is in a moment of integrity of self. If the answer is no to both of these, the debate is likely not worthwhile.

We can invite ourselves and others into integrity of influence with lightness, zest, whimsy.