Author: Phil

Enhance over Expand

More often than not, we have expanded beyond our reach…If we are truly driven, we have no issue with expanding. Expanding should not be the priority.

Instead, we should focus on enhancing.

Enhance the cohesion of our team rather than expand it.

Enhance the usability of the widget rather than expanding it elsewhere.

Enhance your audience engagement rather thane expand it.

Enhancing will win in the long run. And likely expansion will come whether we seek it or not.

Open Ear To a Closed Mouth

This concept is foreign to me right away. My friend Phil Moreland told me about it. It’s actually articulately beautiful!

It captures integrity of influence. It is at the heart of empathy, understanding, going where people are, earning the right to be heard. 

It is the core of holistic influence. We must have a humble attitude to listen in order to lead. 

We must show up time and time again regardless of the others response. We must be an open ear to whatever is near. 

My friend Phil finds deep purpose in being that ear to those who don’t want to speak and I’ve seen him show up time in and time out to ear respect. Eventually it doesn’t matter if there is a mouth which is open or closed, there is trust, care, love, respect.

In the end, we don’t need response, we just need presence. 

New Sneakers

I got a pair of new sneakers…okay I was shopping for dress shoes and my wife saw these sneakers on sale and asked me to try them on. I liked them and so did she so I got them. 

I feel free when I wear them to work. It’s different than my normal Clarks leather shoes. I feel free in a way I don’t with my “nice” shoes. 

I feel as though there are less expectation on me. Expectation is good but when it is oppressive to the point of not feeling myself, it’s bad. In my sneakers I feel me. More free. Less obligated to be a specific way. 

When I act out of this freedom I will lead better, love better, be better. 

Weight

Our words and actions have incredible weight to them. They can influence others with power.

We can move people to action. We can hurt people to depression.

If we only focus on ourselves, our strengths, our abilities, we miss out on the heart of integrity…wholeness.

We are nothing on our own. Without others, we have no impact.

We must consider our influence. Not only the influence to move others but also our influence or impact which could be harmful.

The area which I am not strong, I must be aware and act carefully if it must be exposed.

That weakness could cause hardship or frustration to another.

Instead of rush into an interaction, we should look for the route of integrity, wholeness.

This requires empathy. Putting ourselves in others shoes. Considering the other.

This is the hard work of influence but it is the most important.

We must not lax in it but be vigilant towards empathy. Even when we are tired, worn, at the end, we MUST consider the other. It is required that we bring empathy as a companion.

Debate

Integrity of influence (wholeness and holistic interaction with others) frequently requires a change of mind.

We must be willing to engage in debate and be persuaded by logic, data, experiences…

Everyone needs to start on the same page of not taking the debate personal which requires us to have an integrity of self (wholeness of oneself, confidence, awareness).

We may want to rush into a debate with someone but we must first consider if we are acting with integrity of self as well as perceiving if the other person is in a moment of integrity of self. If the answer is no to both of these, the debate is likely not worthwhile.

We can invite ourselves and others into integrity of influence with lightness, zest, whimsy.

Long Day

I will make an excuse for myself…”I’ve had a long day….I don’t have a lot to give…”

These excuses are cheap and don’t help. 

When I mess up I hope my response can be more from a place of generosity, not a place of defense. 

Defense is cheap for me, you, all involved. 

Generosity is valuable for all. 

Simply choosing to consider generosity is enough for me to end up stepping in with generosity over defense. Just the thought of generosity takes over my actions and I like that. 

Where to start…?

Start with confidence. Start with weight. Start with movement. 

Often this comes from an awareness of self. 

For me, I start with knowing I’m loved and known. Starting there, I don’t require my deepest needs in return from my actions but am able to give, serve, offer. 

Entering with deep need is different than entering with wide generosity. 

Our needs are met more than we even know. We have more to give than we even know.