My most effective journaling has been when I focus less on what I did and more on who I am being.
Sometimes I get to who I am being by first writing or thinking through what I did.
Try to end a journal entry with this question…”If this is what you did, who are you being?”
Answering for yourself is most important. Here’s where my heads been:
Personal life having proper priority. Work not chipping away at personal life priorities
Predictability in work needs. Be specific here. For example: schedule for a day is set 3 days ahead. Knowing rough schedule 1 week in advance
Time within work week to handle urgent needs inside work time
Time in work week to complete all important needs
Time in work week to process and think and ultimately close out mental each day. Avoid carrying stress of work past work hours
Knowing ahead of time when non-traditional work time needed…after hours
Knowing ahead of time when busy week is coming
Flexibility to step away from work when urgent personal needs arise
Work day is energizing more often than it is not
Organization of work projects to keep straight and aware of with ease
Confidence and assurance my career is going the direction I want
Connected to the pulse of those near me…perceptions, attitudes, opinions…no guesswork in what those near me are thinking
Not being beholden to opinions of others. Having grit and autonomy to not act according to opinions unless in line with my goals.
Not being in a hazardously competitive environment or at least not defending on success in this environment
Aware of my current stressors and have control over some impactful aspects of them
Me and others having clarity of what I stand for
Close teammates and boss challenge me yet recognize autonomy and all value balance
Work values and duties aligning with personal values…no erosion of ethics and congruent work-life and personal life
Work makes me better outside of work
Pay of work allowing for comfortable financial life and financial goals to be attained
What would your list be? To have work-life balance we need to first define it for ourselves.
We all aspire for healthy work/life balance.
Some of us may feel we have it good right now.
Some of us may feel we are drowning in work and need a way out.
Either way, we must be proactive, not defensive.
Defensive: fight back and push against. Say no more often. Negotiate better terms. All these are necessary at times but not optimal.
Proactive: build a leadership style that creates ownership of others. Set other people up for success and give them freedom to run. Build a personal brand that highlights your priority of family or personal life.
This is important. Erosion of work/life balance will lead to burnout and poor leadership. Build it in now. Be proactive where you can.
When I’m stuck on defining something, solving a problem, or creating something challenging, I’ve been starting with what it is not.
What is diversity, equity, inclusion? While it’s more difficult to say what it is, its easier to get started on what it is not.
This is a new tool for me as I expand my knowledge and understanding.
Feeling stuck? Lacking motivation? Unsure of what is true?
Make a gift. Do something generous. Get back to who you are and give something generous.
For me this looks like calling a friend, writing a letter/postcard, making a little trinket for someone, sending someone a book with a note in it, offering a few coaching sessions to someone doing work I care about.
When I give, I find more of myself.
Inspired by Austin Kleon’s Keep Going book.
“Shallow”…an important word to consider and internalize regularly.
How much of my work is shallow?
Based on metrics such as # of likes, # of emails sent, hours in meetings, how many people talked to.
How many of my relationships are shallow?
Inauthentic. Transactional. Based on insecurities.
How could we make some of these less shallow?
Leaders live in the tension of making space and taking up space.
Making space: setting others up for success. Setting the table. Strategic plan. Delegate.
Taking up space: leading by example. Clarifying objectives/expectations. Setting a vision. Building momentum. Decision making.
Sometimes one comes easier than the other.
“…find my freedom, my future, my purpose. I am a detective. I’m a decipherer. And I’m a finder of lost souls. My life is my own. And the future is up to us!” – Enola Holmes from the 2020 Film
Who are you?
If we are to make the future, we must start with ourselves. Who are we?
What are your “I am…” phases?
A life theme is one thing. Mine is “Invoking people’s truest selves.” Identity is another. I used to say Energy – Connection – Cultivating which I would say are my strengths. Who am I though?
I am an energizer. I’m a connector of ideas. And I’m an advocate for people’s truest selves.
phil invites 