The stories we tell ourselves shape our perceptions and hence our attention and then our actions and then what we get. Narratives are powerful in our life and they are everywhere.

From what we put on when we get up, to how we talk to our co-worker, to what we career decisions we make. Narratives drive our world.

If we are attempting to overcome a challenge, we may have the following narratives:

“I just need them to get out of the way!”

“I need their help to get through this.”

The key word here is need.

Need is an extrinsic attribute. It relies on someone else. Because of this it automatically puts us in a victim mindset. We can’t do anything but explain our need and let them do what they want.

An alternative is “want.”

“I want their help on this.”

This is an intrinsic motivator. The story is flipped from being about the other person needing to do something to us having a desire for something.

By simply turning this story around a little, we gain even more power in it. We see ourselves as a key part of solving the problem.

The challenge then becomes a motivator rather than a burden.

What challenges are you facing?

Where can you move from a “need” narrative to a “want” narrative?