I love a good “why” question but they aren’t the right question most of the time. Why can be ambiguous, come off as condescending and create defensiveness.

We should be asking more “what” questions.

What makes the situation less personal and more factual.

What invites an observant perspective to truly analyze what is going on rather than dig deep for some abstract answer.

What removes judgement you might have of a persons decision. It can put you both on the same team looking at the problem together.

I’m looking for ways to make sure my what questions are more frequent than my why questions.

Some examples:

Why did you do that? —> What were you hoping for there?

Why did you think that was a good idea? —> What made you chose that course of action?

Why are you bothering with this? —> What’s important here for you?

Idea and examples come from Michael Bungay Stanier’s book The Coaching Habit where he offers Question Master Classes. This is one of those nuggets of gold from this book!

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